omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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