just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
