she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Randomize
