therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
