i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
