READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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