People with herpes should wear stickers.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
