the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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