Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
