I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
