Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
