I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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