i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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