JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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