fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize
