Come see our sink grown plant.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
