3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
