She is in my trunk
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
