I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
