that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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