sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
