how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
