i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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