haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
