Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
