Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
