Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
