Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
