Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
