halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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