I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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