Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize