I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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