My brain says no but my pants say off.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
