Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
