I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
