the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
he laminated a picture of his dick.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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