i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
