I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
