I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
