He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
