i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
