Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
