so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
