I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
