I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
