ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
