i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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