I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
