we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Found your dick twin last night
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
