My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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