I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I need to align my fucking chakras
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