This girl is more easily done than said...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
