Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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