Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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