So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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