I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
