He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
