I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize